Chuck Norris facts

• If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
• There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
• Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
• Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
• When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
• Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
• Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
• It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
• James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.